Acceptance is the pathway to gratitude when you’re feeling far from grateful.
Acceptance is utterly, totally freeing.
Acceptance absolves you of your resistance to what is.
Acceptance is like breathing out your frustrations and desire to control, and breathing in freedom, peace and appreciation for all of the good things about what is.
Whenever you find yourself feeling uncomfortable, unhappy, stressed, anxious, disappointed, frustrated, it’s because you have some sort of resistance to accepting things as they are. You’re wishing them to be different, you’re trying to heal and change them, which is powerful if the circumstance is within your control, but if it is out of your control - let it go baby girl! Acceptance is waiting to set you free!
I came to this lesson not by washing my hands of anything that challenged me - but by toiling, analysing, dissecting, workshopping things that are simply not my job to change (who says my way is right anyway?!) and all the energy I poured into this was wasted, it did me no good and certainly didn’t fix or change anything in my outer world. It was a futile battle.
What needed to change was me.
I needed to accept the way things actually are.
I needed to accept that people all have different views of the world and experiences of life, and it’s not my job to heal other people who do not want to be healed!
When we find ourselves wanting something for someone more than they want it for themselves, we are not being responsible with our energy and we’re not respecting their point of view.
I want to share a story with you to put this into context…
I was on the phone with my amazing Mum, talking about how I would love for her to come and visit me in Bali and offering to treat her to the trip. I was so excited, but she wasn’t! I was so confused! I thought I was handing her a dream trip on a platter!
When I asked how she felt and what she thought, she said that she simply doesn’t want to travel anymore.
Rather than trying to convince her, I accepted this. It’s hard for me to accept, but it would be even harder to fight it, and that would only put friction between us. My Mum deserves to be accepted, as does her map of the world. And she deserves to be treated to things that actually give her the lovely feeling of being treated! The truth is, a trip to Bali could not give her that feeling. And that led to a whole new focus on a new way I could give to her! I asked her what makes her feel her best inside and out, and she said comfy shoes are a huge relief for her. I asked her what style. I asked her what colour. I asked her what specifically she needs in order to feel the comfort and joy she wants to feel. And I found the perfect gift for HER.
From my point of view, I’d take a trip to Bali over comfy shoes any day of the week! But my Mum thinks and feels differently, and by accepting that rather than fighting it, I learned how to give to my Mum in her love language - which will bring her far more joy than if I’d tried to convince her of my ideals.
This is just one small example of how acceptance can lead to such positive outcomes for all!
Let me leave you with this:
It’s not your job to heal your family.
It’s not your job to heal your man.
It’s not your job to heal your friends.
It’s your job to heal your self and to give love to others, regardless of where they’re at in their journey, but give responsibly. Give what you know will be appreciated, to people who will appreciate it. Do not waste your energy on trying to change people and circumstances that cannot be changed 💜